I had good reason — I was giving a presentation — but had hoped much
more would come out of it. I wanted a deeper understanding of this
particular industry and to come away knowing people who do the most
innovative work.
To meet my objective, I would have to walk up and talk to complete strangers.
I'd rather drink poison.
Although the Myers Briggs personality indicator says I am a bona fide extrovert,
I hesitate — actually cringe at the thought of — going up to a person
who doesn't know me, introducing myself and trying to hold a
conversation they never may have wanted to have.
What if that person just wants to be left alone? What if I am intruding? What if I'm rejected?
On
the other hand, what if he or she is someone I end up liking immensely?
What if someone else I meet has a deep understanding of this industry
or is interested in my work, which could lead to more presentations?
What if I meet someone who knows someone else who's just the person I've
been dying to meet?
The odds are 50/50. So surrounded by nearly
600 strangers with the potential for something great to happen, for
three days I walked up to dozens of them bearing name tags with the
title of the conference we were attending.
I met people I probably
never will know beyond our first hello. And I had intriguing
conversations with folks from Australia to Canada.
When it came to
where to sit at a session — in the middle of the first row next to the
lady with striking gray hair or in the back row between the man with the
beard and the woman in boots — it was a tossup.
Who might be more interesting?
I met several people who work in places I had dreamed of connecting with.
Then
something I hadn't planned on came up: I called someone at an
association who had been referred to me when I was home. Odds were good
that she wouldn't have time to meet, but when I called she said, "What
about this afternoon?"
The meeting was magical. She sent someone from her office to see my presentation at the conference. She loved it.
Who knows where that might lead.
Then she introduced me to someone else, and we met. Now that person is interested in talking more.
Most
people tell me they try to connect with others by sending their resume
to a place online or listing their name in a database that they hope
someone influential will see.
The odds of them meeting their objective? It doesn't seem promising.
How does listing your name with thousands of others get you noticed, let alone inspire someone to want to know more about you?
Sometimes extraordinary things just happen through pure luck or chance.
But
I am certain that when you put yourself in situations where you meet
eyeball to eyeball, where you can develop a mutual interest with someone
and they experience your enthusiasm, the odds of something
extraordinary increase greatly.
Take it from someone who doesn't like to approach strangers.
It feels weird at first. But a new relationship, great insight, even a job may come out of it.
Or not.
It might lead to something else you hadn't considered. Perhaps something could happen in six months instead of now.
When
you put yourself out there, you just never know what might happen. Last
week in Atlanta, I was reminded once again that despite all the
technology at hand, an old-fashioned handshake still works wonders.
Career consultant Andrea Kay is the author of "Life's a Bitch and Then You Change Careers: 9 steps to get out of your funk and on to your future."
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